


Doctor, is it a boy or a girl?

by ShirosNotFuckingDeadSurpriseBitch



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Established Relationship, Inflation, M/M, Mpreg, Other, Shiro comes to the rescue, child birth, farming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 22:45:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14903567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShirosNotFuckingDeadSurpriseBitch/pseuds/ShirosNotFuckingDeadSurpriseBitch
Summary: Part three of our thrilling saga. Now that time has been reset, s6 starts with Lance and his lover who have settled down on earth to start a family.





	Doctor, is it a boy or a girl?

**Author's Note:**

> Part one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10008332

In a galaxy, far, far away - where team Voltron has been laid to waste in ashes - keith’s immense love for shiro resets time itself. 

 

It extends byond the time space continuum.

 

Now, back at the start, Lance and Kaltenekker can finally have their happily ever after on earth.

 

\----

 

_**Present:** _

 

It was a delicious, sunny day, back in cuba. Kaltenekker was outside, reaping their bountiful crops and rubbing off the sweat from his brow with his five arms. Lace watched in bliss as he rocked back and forth in his rocking chair on their front porch. They had been married now, for at least 2 seconds. Lance calls out to his baby girl, “HEY BEEBEE, YOU WANA COME HERE AND WIPE THAT SWEAT ON ME INSTEAD IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ;))”

 

Kaltenekker moves back, and says with regret, “But I don’t wanna hurt the baby”

 

Lance glaces down at his already bulging stomach. He throbs.

 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine baby ;),” Lance preens, “after all, you’re the one who put in there in the first place ;)”

 

With a contemplative tilt of his head, the glistening cow-man saunters towards him. Kaltenekker arrives at his destination, only one thing now on his mind: “Oh, baby… I just finished tending to the garden, now I need to tend to yours uwu”

 

Lance is quaking. The baby quakes with him.

 

“Fertilize me daddy ;)”

 

“My seed is all yours for the planting.”

 

Kaltenekker picks him up with a single tongue. It extends long enough to careese his acid wash jeans, and 5 more, sprout out of her fingertips. Lace is so overcome with emotion and lust that even satan quivers before them both. Just as Kalteneker cradles lance agaisnt her, Lance whispers, “we’re having a bonding moment ;)”

 

With a single tear trailing down her face, she looks deep into her lovers eyes. “You’re thinking about keith, aren’t you. I thought it was over between you. Maybe it’s not even half cow! Is it his??”

 

Lance licks Kaltenekers tears away, “Angsty baby girl, naw ;)” He takes a gentle whiff of her hoof and presses it against his swol

 

“Feel that? ;) This is us. Together. It’s like our oc, nya :3?”

 

“... Yeah… it is, isn’t it...” Kaltenekker shivers.

 

Then suddenly, deep within him, lance feels a rupture. 

 

“It’s coming” he breathes.

 

“But I haven’t even touched you yet?”

 

“No!” Lance cries, “not me, the baby!! ;)”

 

_ **Hello, 911, what’s your emergency-** _

 

“Thank god doctor, could we like, uh, like  ummm have like, 2 pizzas?? Or something?? Idk babe what u feelin, right now, uhhh-”

 

“IM FEELING OUR CHILD”

 

_ ** We’re dispatching our best nurse to your location, they’ll be there momentarily ** **BEEP** _

 

There’s a faint rumbling in the distance. Over the hills, they see a cloud of dust, coming closer and closesr towards them. It’s the nurse; suddenly standing before them. Ass like a pair of cherry tomatoes, nipples like bullets, and thighs the size of god themself.

 

“Your Ubers here-”

 

“WE ARE HAVING A CHILD”

 

“Oh my gosh!! Congradulations!! My name is Tushashy Shigorange and I’m a nurse! What a coincidence!”

 

Kaltenekker summons him forward. “Please, help my husband, his milk broke and he needs assistance immediately”

 

Shigorange (Shiro for short) moved the couple into their garage, and splayed Lance out on the hood of their Honda Civic.

 

”It it gas or electric?”

 

“ITS COMING”

 

Shiro opens up his breifcase and takes out a bottle of coca cola and a roll of mentos. As he positions himself in between Lances chicken legs, he shoves the mentos into the bottle and screams at the top of his lungs, “LANCE, SUCK ON THIS LIKE YOURE A DYSON BLADE”

He inserts the bottle into Lances awaiting lips and lance moans in ecstacy. In a few short seconds, they all watch as Lance’s stomach expands to the size of an xl beach ball. Just when they think, it can’t get any bigger, Shiro takes his robot hand and slams it on top of him. The car starts from the sheer friction that occurs when the baby shoots out in a stream of soda and milk.

 

“Doctor, is it a boy or a girl?

 

“Congrations! It’s a furry!”

**Author's Note:**

> This song comes on the car radio at the end of the last sentence: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI )


End file.
